I will never forget the evening of March 17, 2009. It was another late Wednesday night, working on production for that week's edition of The Caravan. I was stressed, and tired, and was counting down the days to graduation. Things had gotten so hectic I had almost forgotten about my application to Columbia School of Journalism's graduate program. Until that night.
When I saw the email, the only word I could read was "Congratulations." I read it over and over again, my eyes locked on that one word. I was in? My hard work, it payed off? I was going to New York City? I couldn't believe it. It was one AM, so screaming and laughing loudly were out of the question. No need to scare the neighbors. So I jumped up and down silently, thrusting my fist in the air with a triumphant whisper "I DID IT!"
Most of my professors were ecstatic. It was an unbelievably happy and proud time for me. When anyone asked what I would be doing after graduation, especially given the turbulent market, I proudly replied "I'm going to New York City to study at Columbia." It was a dream come true, and one I had worked very hard for.
Then came time to figure out finances. None of the scholarships I had applied for came through, and the only assistance I was being offered was through loans, something that is strongly opposed in my religion. I had to make a decision. Go against my beliefs and take the once in a lifetime chance to graduate from the top school in my field, or place my fate in the hands of my maker.
I pick the latter.
My mentors think I'm crazy, my friends are flabbergasted. All that excitement, all the hard work, all the thrill and I am not taking the loans? "It's not just a piece of paper," one of my professors said to me. "It's a means to an end." I disagree.
My generation is seeing the fall of one of the strongest economies on earth because of loans, and interest. I am watching as my friends get laid off left and right. One of the reasons why I can not find a scholarship is because at this point there is NO money to be given out. People are scrambling, large corporations need to be bailed out and in the journalism industry some of the most respected and well known publications have gone out of business.
Even if you don't believe in Islam as I do, the current global economic situation has to get you thinking. Yes i know that my decision to not go to Columbia will not change everything. But my decision to not take the loan will change my life.
I was depressed when I found out my scholarship did not come through. I cried on a friend's shoulder, had trouble sleeping and questioned my decision. Then I saw my two year old niece, and I realized there was no need to cry. I realized that the changes that needed to be made in this world were for her generation, not mine. I saw that my decision was the right one, and that if everyone made the same types of decisions we wouldn't worry about foreclosing on our homes, paying exhorbant interest rates and working for what seemed like nothing.
I am proud of myself, and my head will be held high. Not everyone will agree with me, and many will say I am throwing away the chance of a life time.
I say I am seizing it, for the greater good.
2 comments:
There is no Islamic prohibition against loans per se, only against usury.
But then, judging from what my friends tell me about the usefulness of J-School, and having loads of journalist friends who'd never gone to such a school ... it won't be such a monumental loss, after all.
Allahu ma'ik, and all that.
First, excellently written piece. Second, I think your decision is the bravest I have seen someone make yet. There's probably a million ways you could have justified taking that loan, but you were honest with yourself and everyone around you and I think that "I didn't go to Columbia because I did what I believed in," is better cause for pride than "I have an MS from Columbia." Cheers.
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